it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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