i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize