porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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