I'm gonna have a badass scar
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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