The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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