I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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