We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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