I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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