I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize