I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize