so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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