If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
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be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
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Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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