Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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