Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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