I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize