He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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