The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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