i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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