Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
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Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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