We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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