"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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