all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
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I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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