No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize