Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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