we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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