Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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