i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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