No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize