I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize