he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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