u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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