would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize