I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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