my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize