Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize