I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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