you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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