john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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