sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
we're so committed to being not committed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize