I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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