she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
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His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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