I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
how drunk are you?
Several
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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