it wasn't lemon gatorade
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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