I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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