Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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