His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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