I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize