she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
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You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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