two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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