when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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