the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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